Reclaiming My Space

 February 8-22, 2021

Over the past two weeks have been indoors and outdoors, been aware of lived experiences of inner and outer realities. Reflecting on duality of  opposites: such as knower/ known, subject/object, being/doing, expected/unexpected, and static/active. I am  aware of senses- active seeing, touching, learning, what is on my mind and heart, and  emotional states while creating parallel unfolding.  Through this personal grief process have found I feel sad and vulnerable at times, easily reactive, less focused and sometimes a little lighter in spirit.

While walking and traveling to outdoor sites the journey is like a form of pilgrimage- archiving, testing and experimenting. Throughout the process am paralleling experiences about Mom and creating my work.  I am testing my sense of proprioception  and introception. Site specific places: graveyard, curious cabinet, Altar, Redfern Street, Fort Street, and Richmond Ave- Hospice.

New vocabulary:

Proprioception: moving and feeling in space and in motion.

Palimpsest: something reused and altered but still has traces of earlier form.

Palimpsees: history of an objects erased marks

Introception: a sense of the internal state of the body conscious and unconscious. Communication between body, mind and feelings. Described as the psychological and neurobiological which facilitates regulation and an integrated sense of self and contributes to health and wellbeing. The drawing and mark making flows through me bringing body into the awareness and conceptualization of self. With the grief process and Covid overlay have time lapses, not being fully present- repeating patterns and forgetful or as the vernacular of Integrated Body Psychotherapy terminology “fragmented”. 

Artistic explorations were through drawings, rubbings and photography.

Artist readings:

Bill Viola and his work exploring three metaphysical questions “Who Am I”, “ Where Am I “, “Where Am I Going” ? Reflecting on his experiences of how his work changed after the death of his parents.

Erin Sheriff says:”What veils are between us and our work, follow instincts about what interested in”. .

Regarding update re Smoke paintings( fire) have created larger frame so can add larger sheets of paper to weekly small images with larger format outside (weather permitting), and have not explored water yet like the idea of elemental forces of fire and water symbolizing change, redemption, transformation and renewal.

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